Infertile couples “unfriend” pregnant acquaintances and friends

Before
Facebook, infertile couples could avoid pregnant people at social gatherings or
work and limit their vulnerability to jealousy and bitterness. But today, many
are perpetually and painfully connected. Diane Colling, occupational therapist
and fertility patient, was bombarded by a friend’s excited update about her
pregnancy. Her brother’s pregnant girlfriend posted: “Your daughter will
hold your hand for a little while, but will hold your heart for a
lifetime.”

Colling, 28,
who lives in Baltimore County and has been trying to conceive since 2006, says
she feels like she’s “getting kicked” every time she sees posts like this one.
She says, “I have to unfriend people for a while. If I was smart, I
wouldn’t go on Facebook anymore, but I’d completely lose connections with
family and friends.”

Employees at
Shady Grove Fertility, a large Montgomery County IVF provider, said that more
and more patients talk about Facebook envy during consultations. The centre
itself has a Facebook page where infertile couples can discuss anything from
egg retrieval to Octomom – but most couples use it to admit to envy and pain.
Sharon Covington, Shady Grove’s director of psychological services, said:
“They understand their friends aren’t trying to cause them harm, and they
don’t want to wish them ill will, but they end up feeling angry, resentful and
jealous.” ~ Washington
Post, Oct 25

Jared Yee
Facebook
IVF

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Michael Cook

Michael Cook edits BioEdge, a bioethics newsletter, and MercatorNet, an on-line magazine whose focus is human dignity. He writes from Sydney, Australia.

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